Food Nazis: Kelli’s perspective

Growing up, eating was almost frowned upon for my brothers and me. When we were allowed to eat, the food wasn't very appetizing.

For breakfast we were allowed to have either cereal or a Pop Tart. The cereal never contained sugar. We were allowed Corn Flakes, not Frosted Flakes. Mini Wheats, not Frosted Mini Wheats. We had every flavor of Chex and the most disgusting of all, Kix. When we were allowed a Pop Tart, which was only on the weekends, they were the unfrosted kind.

Lunch at our house was just as bad. My mother made us bologna and ketchup sandwiches. She made smiley faces in the ketchup as if it would make bologna taste good. It didn't.

Dinner wasn't always terrible, but my mother did make quite a few dishes that were not very good. She made Grub a lot. It consisted of scrambled hamburger and baked beans. The state should have removed us from the home for that one.

Even drinks in our house were controlled.

At breakfast we were told to "just drink the rest of the milk in your cereal.” 

At lunch we were allowed watered down Kool-Aid.

Dinner was always milk. Never chocolate or coffee milk. Just plain, white milk.

In between meals we could only have "ice water". Ice water was just tap water in an empty milk jug that my parents kept in the fridge. In the summer we were not allowed to go indoors to get a drink. We were told to "drink from the hose".

Snacks were allowed, which sounds good in theory until you know the nature of the snacks. Our snacks were always timed. We were allowed to have a piece of fruit everyday at exactly 3:00 PM.

After dinner we were allowed two generic Oreos.

We were also allowed a bedtime snack two nights a week. It was always served at 8:00 PM exactly and it was always unsalted peanuts. What kid really wants unsalted peanuts?

All this sounds bad but my parent's made it worse. When I opened the fridge to get my refreshing "ice water" I would see their two-liter bottle of Coke.

When I opened the fridge to get my plum at 3:00 PM I would see my mother’s Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

When we were eating our unsalted peanuts, all we could hear was their popcorn popping in the popper.

Hypocrites.

One more thing:

Chewing or possessing gum by the children was a punishable offense.

My parents were food Nazis. I am much more lenient with my own children.